This post is for all the fierce women out there, and the men who love them, and perhaps also for anyone who’s had to deal with us.
This is an issue I want Jesus Christ to work on in my life. I’ve witnessed destructive fierceness and the pain it can inflict. I’ve also been guilty of it far too often. I shudder to recall times, especially in my youth, when I inflicted my fierceness on people. I am ashamed of the sharp way I still lash out on occasion. It is ugly. And it is sin.
That’s why I picked up this book. It did not disappoint.
Through her own story of being changed by Christ, Kimberly Wagner explains the difference between Godly fierceness and sinful fierceness. She bravely shares the pain destructive fierceness caused in her marriage, how God revealed her sin to her and how, step-by-step, God rebuilt her relationship with her husband, LeRoy. Today, they are marriage counselors.
God will transform us when we are humble and broken and see ourselves as we are, but as Wagner puts it in her book: God didn’t give her a personality transplant. I don’t think he’ll be giving me a personality transplant either. But I can continue to let him give me a heart transplant, reshaping my attitudes and conforming me to his image.
I’m sorry I can’t give this book the full review treatment. But I can give you a little taste with a few passages that spoke to me and urge you to go read it for yourself.
“There is a beauty to the right kind of fierceness. Not the brand of fierceness that recklessly walks over people or is rooted in self-centered goals. Not the fierceness that produces ice queens or conniving shrews but a fierceness that is humble strength and power under control. The fierceness I admire grabs on to the hem of God’s will and won’t let go. A fierceness that determinedly stands strong in a gale of opposition. This kind of fierceness looks fear in the eye without blinking and confidently forges ahead.”
“Why is the ugliness of pride clearly visible when we observe it in others, yet cleverly hidden from sight when it resides in our own hearts? Pride will be the default position unless a couple learns to recognize it and battle it.”
“Holding a superior attitude is not an option when I realize I’m looking up to Him from the same lowly ground all stand upon. He is God alone and I’m compelled to bow before Him in humility and worship.”
“Love is laying down our lives, our self-centered agendas, our “all about me” attitudes, our selfish selves. The death that love requires is … mine.”
Not only does Wagner contrast bad and good fierceness in the book, she explains how to cultivate godly fierceness with Scripture and faith in Jesus. She also details practical ways for women to be the helpmates of their husbands and how to encourage them rather than tear them down.
Even as a single woman, this book ministered to me and I expect I will pick up again and again, especially if the Lord does some day bless me with a husband.